William "Bill" Gates III

Unfamous Quotation: "Man, I'm Bored" (Said in a Taco Bell drive-through in 1972)
Obviously Bill Gates didn't pop out of the womb designing software. And anyone with anything fun or illegal to do isn't going to waste their time starting a multi-billion dollar industry; he obviously lacked any form of social life.
-Corey

Thomas Jefferson

Unfamous Quotation: "Damn, we should not have partied so hard last night. Adams is puking in the outhouse and I can barely read my handwriting" (said to Jon Adams in Independence Hall, July 1, 1776).

You're trying to tell me the Founders didn't party like rockstars? We know these fuckers defeated the British - its common knowledge - but not many people know that the real reason the war ended was George Washington drank that limey fuck of a British commander Thomas Gage under the table at flip cup. Independence was the bet.

Christopher Columbus

Unfamous Quotation: "Wait, no, I'm pretty sure we should turn left" (said upon the Nina, 1492)

YOU MISSED INDIA, MOTHERFUCKER.

Michael Jordan

Unfamous Quotation: "Yeah, I'll take that in a size 9". (Said in a Foot Locker, 1966)

Because you know this motherfucker was a shoe size 9 at some point in his life. We all know this dude wasn't born shaped like an "L"